Archive for the ‘Biographical’ Category

Introduction & Some Biography

Posted: July 19, 2010 in Biographical

I feel like I should start things off with an introduction and statement of purpose for this blog, so that my readers will know I little about me and about my intents for this site.

I am a white woman in my late 20s. I am married and a stay at home mother at this time, and I have been a White Nationalist since I was a teenager. I have a college education and have worked in the sales, real estate, and corrections (prison) industries before choosing to stay at home with my son. I feel like my life and education are best used now to raise my child and any future children we may have, and to homeschool and teach racial and cultural awareness rather than relying on multicultural daycare centers and public schools full of government propaganda.

I grew up in a town and school system surrounded by blacks, and with a mestizo population that was already growing in the early 90s, but was taught to stick to my own kind and not to date or form close friendships with other races. What I saw from being forced to live and go to school among them made me agree with this. I began learning about the Jewish influence on society in my early teens, through a combination of research on the internet, reading and research, and simply observing the world around me and those in control of the media, banking, and shaping of public opinion.

Seeing the racial problems with the world around me, I have spent most of my life trying to wake other white people up and to change our situation. I became a skinhead at the age of 14, and was active in a few “crews” but frustrated with the lack of direction among even most racially aware white teenagers, and at the fact that my age kept me from joining most broader white nationalist groups and the major skinhead groups that seemed to be making an impact at that time. I spent a lot of time on WN websites and forums, and traveled to events when I could, once I got my driver’s license. I joined the National Alliance as soon as I turned 18, and remained a member until 2003, by which time factionalism had made the group less than a shell of its former self. For a time, I was a member of a local Klan group, because they were doing positive things locally and my husband and father had both been members, but that too was torn apart by infighting and greed. I have been involved in a few other minor groups, but seen the same patterns repeat so often that I am cautious of joining anything anymore.

I am, first and foremost, a white racialist. I believe that even nature itself shows that the white race is the most creative and civilized of the races, and that western civilization, western philosophy, and even historic Christianity are the legacy of the white race. I am also a Christian and, while I don’t think it’s proper for a woman to teach or preach doctrine, I do believe that Christianity is a white religion, spread by the white man and one of the underpinnings of white civilization until the modern corruptions of dispensation, Zionism, and universalism were allowed to spread throughout the church. Whether you believe that the white race are the physical descendants of Israel, or the spiritual Israel of the New Covenant, it is abundantly clear that the marks of Israel and election of God are evident in our people’s culture and history, and not in that of the “Jews” or the modern day middle eastern state of “Israel”.  All of my other views and beliefs can be best explained as “filtered” through these first two.

My husband and I put on cookouts for several years as an attempt to unify and help promote networking between the various pro-white groups in our state. There were varying levels of success with this. Some went great and we had over 100 people at a few but, over time, certain groups seemed to think they could control who was and was not welcome, and the same factionalism that afflicts other parts of our movement began to cause problems. After 10 years, attendance has dwindled down to only around 30 people per event, and my husband and I have had to cut back from quarterly events to yearly or biannually because we were not financially able to do them as often as before on only one income and with attendance and voluntary donations no longer even covering the facility rental, much less the cost of food and supplies.

I am still doing what I can to support other white activists and to attend those events that I can, but am somewhat limited by the logistics of travel now (my husband works a lot of overtime on weekends, and we are not comfortable with me attending public events and protest alone now that I will have our child with me, plus the expenses of gas and motel rooms are more of an impact with a family of three on one income). Since the internet was a part of my awakening, and an invaluable tool in educating myself, it makes sense for me to use it as a tool to network and to educate others. There are not very many white nationalist blogs that I know of, and even fewer written by women, so I hope to add my voice to help reach other whites, and especially white women who may not see much of a female presence among WNs because so many of us are either less outspoken or simply too busy with the demands of family and/or career to spend much time online.

(I will be uploading a few posts from a previous blog of mine as well, these will have dates spanning from 2005-2007, when they were originally written).

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Another year, another birthday. For the first time, I’m starting to feel old. I know that 25 is young, but part of me feels like I’m still a teenager, and I’m not sure that adulthood is all it’s cracked up to be. There are a few perks, but really, my life’s about the same now as it was at 19, just with more expectations of “normalcy”, and less leeway for breaking society’s arbitrary rules. Looking back, the world has changed a lot since I’ve been alive, but the way those changes affected me can only be views in retrospect.

I was born in 1982, under the influence of MTV, Ronald Reagan, and the AIDS scare. This explains my love for 80s hair metal, and hate for rap music [as rap videos replaced the music I liked on TV], and why I swung towards conservatism at a very young age, when there were still a few things in society worth “conserving”. I was a member of the first generation to grow up under the shadow of HIV, maybe because I was also in the first generation where interracial dating was seen as “normal” by most of my peer group. I remember the fall of the Berlin Wall and South African Apartheid, and how both were celebrated on television [nobody knew the atrocities that would be committed later by the newly “liberated” blacks in Africa, or the condition the former USSR would be left in after years of Judeo-Communist domination]. More relevant was the PTL club scandal and the fall of TV evangelism – I remember thinking they seemed so fake, even as a child, and I couldn’t figure out why my grandma loved the TV preachers enough to send them money [these same types are en vogue once again, combining their prosperity gospel with rampant Zionism and multiculturalism, still using religious brainwashing to play on the heart-strings and purse-strings of the American sheeple].

The invasion of Panama and the first Gulf War mattered to me, because they meant my dad went overseas, and I spent a lot of time home alone or bouncing between relatives. I had the walls of my room plastered with information about Iraq, the Army, and military weapons, and I thought it’d be so cool to grow up and work in military intelligence or the FBI. I wonder how many other people felt that way, took the jobs, and now have to live with the things their respective agencies are doing.

I remember hearing about the LA riots, and how everyone felt it was bad and unfair, and then the OJ Simpson trial, where the black kids cheered and the white kids mostly said it was bullshit when the verdict was announced [so long as they were where no blacks could hear them]. I remember Waco, Ruby Ridge, and the OKC bombing, and all of a sudden I no longer wanted to work for the federal government, or in law enforcement. I remember the big media panic over the militia groups, and finding that I agreed with most of what they said. Turning in research papers on militias, white supremacy, and neo-pagan spirituality, all with a positive slant, does not endear a child to most teachers, but that in itself taught me a valuable lesson about the world – beliefs have consequences, and I learned to face them at an early age.

I remember Columbine, only because I knew my taste in music, clothing, and friends, had just made me a target of discrimination by overzealous watchdogs and my media-influenced peers. Nobody ever mentioned how many kids in gang attire and “wigger” or “ghetto” style killed people on the streets after school, but suddenly white kids wearing black were the violent ones. I remember the Brady Bill and Proposition 187, and the huge debates over both. I remember the debates over sex and violence in the media. I don’t think any of us knew at the time how far-reaching the effects of any of these things would be, and how far in the future these same questions and debates would be in the headlines.

More recently, we’ve had 9/11, the Patriot Act, and the Iraq War, the immigration debate, and the fiasco that has been the Bush presidency. I don’t even know where to begin with any of the above, or what the effects will be in 5 or 10 years, but it’ll be interesting. I just know that Americans are living in more fear now than at any time I can remember, and are voluntarily giving up freedoms that should never have been taken for granted. Maybe that’s what life I remember it has all been leading up to – random world events setting the state for some sort of totalitarian multiculturalist state. If so, I hope enough people have learned from this same history that if we don’t fight it, things will only get worse, and we may be past the point in another generation or two where anyone will even remember what kind of world there was to fight for.